Paris #2

So, did I remember to mention that it was STINKIN' cold while we were in Paris? Uhm, yeah. I had to go into "I feel no cold. The cold does not penetrate my skin.." mode – which actually works to an extent, but only to an extent. Currently, my limited wardrobe stored in my beautiful blue suitcase consists of capris & shorts. Luckily at the last minute, T convinced me to bring some jeans along. So I threw in 2 pair for good measure. Those jeans need to be burned now because they got some serious use during those 4.5 days in Paris. Did I mention that I only brought short sleeved shirts and no jacket? Give me a break people! I had the air-conditioning on chez moi, set at a lovely 70 degrees, thank you. BUT there is a serious difference between dry air circulating your comfy home at 70 degrees and a wet & windy 45-50 degrees in la France. It really didn't faze me much. I think it bothered the Parisians more than it did me that the only thing between me and the elements was a short sleeved shirt and --- you get what I mean. I got some "that crazy American!" stares. Now, my poor, poor M. She has considerably less (like 95%) body fat than me and she nearly turned into popsicle with hair. Imagine me, your hefty walrus vs. 26 week preemie (that's M) in the Antartic and you've got a clear picture. Sure, I brought a light jacket for her (which she lovingly referred to as paper), but all of her shirts were short sleeved as well. So to help her feel like "one of the people" we bought her a scarf and tied it about a bajillion different ways. It was also useful as a muzzle at times. This is also why in 100% of our Paris pictures it appears as though M only owns one set of clothes. Enough about the weather.

For all of you who will never make it to Paris because #1) you use your vacation time & money to visit family, #2) have no desire to pay twice as much for your plane ticket because of "taxes," #3) you haven't been out of your own state or time zone, #4) What's a vacation? – I give you "Paris – the inexpensive, back door, Dollar Store, ghetto version for Dummies." Opinions expressed are solely those of the author and should be taken with a grain or two of salt. Yes, all the pictures were taken by either moi or T.

Eiffel Tower – Yes, it's as incredible as you think it is, but even more so at night when the lights twinkle like a million flashing cameras. You can pay to take a ride up the Tower, but it takes a chunk of your time and honestly, I can pay one Euro for a good panoramic of Paris on a postcard. You can also take in a meal at the restaurant on the Tower. If you want to do that, first go and take a $50 bill and light it with a match. Translation: Waste of money, get your food somewhere else.

Champs de Mars – this is the park area near the Eiffel Tower and a great place to steal a shot of the Tower in its entirety. Especially if you've only brought the mega-zoom lens for your big camera. Oh wait, that was us. I would not recommend sitting on the grass unless you have a blanket that you want to bring and then toss. Heaven knows WHAT is on that grass! It is also a great place to go if you want to see farrrrr too many people having a make-out (do people still use that word?) session in public. Bleck! Not so much fun with a young child or without.

Louvre – Must. Go. Now. First piece of advice, do not go on a "Free to the public" day unless, well just don't. There will be 3 million of your closest friends all vying for the same shot of ML (that's what I call Mona Lisa, now that we're good friends). Second piece of advice, do NOT try and do the entire museum in one day. The place is monstrous and you could spend days in there and forget to eat. We opted for a "remember you have a 7 year old with you" approach and it worked well for us. Decide what you absolutely must see for your life to be complete and the rest is gravy. Don't bother going to the bookstore. If you do and find something you want, write it down and then gain a testimony of Amazon.com. Buy your magnet and get the heck out of there.

Notre Dame – Sure, go ahead if you have the time and you've never seen a really old cathedral before. When I say old, I mean further back than Christopher Columbus crossing the ocean. We happened to be there when a Mass was being conducted and it was more than tad bizarre to have herds of people circling and taking pictures while others were trying to worship. Still, being the "gawking American tourist" I had my camcorder going while the priest was swinging his incense and the choir sang, which by the way was gorgeous. I've been to Mass before so it was not from a peeping T point of view, but more from an historical paradigm of "they've been doing this in here for a really LONG time, how dedicated." Stained glass was beautiful, hordes of people. Pay your Euro, light a candle and offer a prayer.

St. Chappelle – This is another very old church which upon first inspection is quite ordinary. Then you take that very small spiral staircase, up, up, until you enter the upper sanctuary and BEHOLD! The entire world of stained glass takes on new meaning. There is simply too much glass for consumption. My advice? Make your way over to the large, yet portable, translation cards (approx. 5 languages) and make sense of it all with the help of diagrams and the professionals. The room is small, seating limited and concourses of tour groups making their way through the same space you want to occupy for that perfect picture. Gorgeous, gorgeous glass. Amazing craftsmanship. Unfortunately, the "ordinary" people weren't allowed to enjoy it for years. If you can look past the "look what we can build for our God" paganism of it all the visit can be truly uplifting.

Palais de Versailles – Absolutely. You need to take a couple of metros and a train to get there, but it is SO worth it all. Get ready to do some BIG TIME walking. Words cannot describe the beauty of this place. Try not to think about where the King got the money to build, decorate and maintain this place. France is a democracy now and we can't change the past. The coverings for the walls, the bohemoth fireplaces, frescoed ceilings, ornate statues, paintings – oh, la, la! Talk about some serious luxury overload. There is the Hall of Mirrors which is a bit frustrating only because there are far too many people to get the picture you want, but take a photo anyhow and get yourself in it… unlike me. Then, hold your breath, there are the gardens. Holy guacamole! Unfortunately the fountains are only turned on during the weekend and the flowers were still being planted during our visit, but still the place is breathtaking. The gardens cover practically the entire District of Columbia and after touring the palace you might want to fork over the cash to rent a golf cart. We opted for the cart because there was NO way I was walking all over that place. This was an ice cold day and the cart protected us from the wind for the most part. If you walk, well – good for you and your healthy heart. The sculptures all over the property, the meadows filled with sheep, the hidden hamlet for the King's lover. Wait, what? – ACK! It's sooo much. This is an allll day excursion, don't try and do more than Versailles in one day.

Orsay Museum – If you like Rodin, Cezanne, Monet, Degas, Van Gogh and the like then, sure go ahead. If those names mean very little to you, then don't bother. This is a nice, newer building inside and part of the appeal is the architecture of the structure itself. Our time was limited so, again, we narrowed down our visit to what we needed to see. There is something about standing in front of an original painting that you've only seen in either cheap prints or on the front of a card. There it hangs, taking up the better part of a wall with nothing between you and it. You can see the individual paintbrush strokes of the master and suddenly it is no longer "that famous painting." You have tasted part of the artist's creation process and it is a living thing. Or a sculpture becomes a person when you can see the individual chisel marks. To each is given a talent and perhaps our talent is to learn how to appreciate great art when we see it.

Arc de Triomphe – Get out of the Metro station, take your pictures and then move along. It is actually so humongous that you need to back up to enjoy its grandeur. The Arc itself is quite dirty so I'm not quite sure why you'd want to get too close. There is CRAZY traffic surrounding the Arc that would make any DC Beltway rush-hour driver beg for his/her life. I actually quite enjoyed watching this "dance" of cars from the sidelines, but then I noticed that I was holding my breath and starting to get a headache.

Tuileries Gardens/Place de la Concorde – Extra gravy but not "must see" destinations. You can see both after you're done with the Louvre if you still have some energy.

There you have it – the ghetto fabulous version of Paris. It may not look like much, but boy oh boy was it ever a packed 4 ½ days for us. We fell in love with the City of Lights and have decided we need to go back to explore those sections we unfortunately missed. I'm on the hunt for tickets – anyone game?